i know, i know

I have been everywhere but here. For months. Almost a year actually. Probably wouldn't be too shocking to know that I'm also pretty much the same weight as well.

Actually that is a lie. Between April 2010 and December 2010 I managed to put on about 20 pounds. I like to blame being single again. Dating is expensive! Not just $$ wise but calorie-wise. You skip a work out for a date, then you drink on a date, rinse, repeat. Cals consumed and not being burned off = disaster.

So I reeled it in. I recommitted to Weight Watchers in December. I have been 100% on plan (aside from a 10 day slide 2 weeks ago). I ran another 10k on Super Bowl Sunday. It was MISERABLE. I was at least 10 if not 15 lbs heavier than my first 10k back in May 2010. It was long and tiring, but I showed up, I ran, I finished.

Sooooo we move forward! I signed up for the Bay to Breakers 12k which is coming up in May. May 15, 2011 to be exact. I got suckered in knowing it will be the 100th anniversary. I am really really scared of the hills of San Francisco. Would it be weird to go down there one random weekend before then and walk the route just so I can get rid of some of the nerves??

In an effort to prepare for this daunting run I am back in training mode. Loosely following a training plan from Runners World. I started a detox/cleanse on Feb 27th which included no booze ::gasp:: which ends on Saturday. I may or may not drink on Saturday on the pub crawl. I am also trying to at LEAST get down to my lowest low since joining Weight Watchers, which I am 8 pounds away from.

I can do it. Just takes a little effort. Imagine that.

Random Sidenote:
May seems to be my milestone month-
May 2009 - 1st 5k
May 2010 - 1st 10k
May 2011 - 1st 12k

10k baby! 10k!

I did it! I completed my first 10k. I am so thankful that my friend Michelle encouraged me and pushed me to do this. It felt amazing to cross that finish line!!!

The day started out nice enough. It was COLD for May 23rd, but it wasn't too breezy and it wasn't hot like I was worried about when I first heard about the race. Got there, parked, met up with Michelle and Meagan and we got our race packets. It seemed like forever before the race finally started. There was a 10k, a 5k and a 1 mile race. Michelle and I were up first for the 10k, Meagan starting shortly after for the 5k.


The first mile I felt good! There were a few more hills than I had anticipated, but sometimes going in blind is a good thing. Because if I had run that course beforehand, I probably would have backed out. Michelle left me at about 3.5 miles. It was fine, I was clicking along, and thankfully had my iPod in my pocket so I was able to push myself with music. I soon wanted to give up. The hills on the way back were pretty intense, I felt like I was barely moving. But I kept going, I couldn't quit.

By the time I got to mile 5 I knew I had it. I started feeling good again, even though at times my foot was hurting so bad even stepping on a rock sent a shooting pain up my leg. A great song came on that I love running to, and it was ON!

Michelle finished her race, and came back and ran in with me. It was only about the last .2 miles, but it was when I needed it most. Meagan stayed back at the finish line to take pictures. The emotion that came over me was something I hadn't felt since completing my first 5k, almost exactly one year before.

I have no desire to run any longer distances. There are a few reasons for that. At this point, I really need to stay focused on my weight loss. From all I have heard, the longer distance you train for, the harder it is to lose weight because you need so much food for fuel for training. Not to mention how hard it is on my body to carry all this weight when I run. So once I get down to my first "goal" weight, I will reevaluate my desire to run farther. Until then, I am perfectly content running 3-6 miles a few times a week :)

six miles, six smiles

I really wish I had been blogging the past month... but life happened.

The good news is: I kept running. Even though work was falling apart and I am buried and exhausted and don't know where I should be or when... I ran.

This Sunday, my best friend Michelle and I, went out and ran 6 miles. Yes, 6 miles. First. Time. Ever. SHE is the one that convinced ME to sign up for this 10k coming up next week. She is the same one I convinced to run with me last Saturday and I hit 5 miles for the first time ever. Its been amazing having someone else push you when you are dog tired, laugh with you at the dumb bikers, and just gossip the time away. We finished the 6 miles in 1hr 20minutes. I burned 1000 calories. 1000! Those are numbers I only see when hiking!

When I first ran 4 miles a few weeks ago, it was the first time since starting this 10k program that I truly felt that I could do this. Mentally it has been a struggle. Yesterday running 6 miles, I finally REALLY feel like this is it. I can do it, I will do it, and I'm going to have fun doing it!

a picture says a thousand words

my dad and i went to a classic car show this weekend, and someone must have posted pictures on the message board he frequents... because i get this picture sent to me. yes he and i are in it, but its from BEHIND. and wow. apparently i have a long way to go to be where i want to be, and boy have i been living in a diluted self-confident world.



off to the gym after work...

so far, so good!

while i haven't been 100% on plan since rejoining a few weeks ago, both of my weigh ins have resulted in 1lb loss each. so close to where i was in october. its really a bummer to think where i could be had it not been for getting off track. but i can not dwell on that. i need to instead think about the fact that it could have been a lot worse.

in other news, my friend emailed me a 10k coming up may 23rd that she is doing. it is a fundraiser for star6.org which raises money for services for the families of fallen or injured law enforcement. its a great cause, and i have been needing to get off my butt and commit to running a 10k, so here i am.

i started an 8 week program on monday. it will end the day of the race. so i HAVE to stay focused and keep up on the training. so far so good. i ran 1.5miles straight for the first time in months on wednesday, and yesterday ran 2 miles. i joined dailymile.com to help me track my progress which should help as well.

its funny because i know what i have to do and when i have to do it by. its not just about the running, i HAVE to be eating better and get some strength training in as well or else it wont work. it all goes together, and i need to remember that next time i want to order take out.

for inspiration i've been reading other blogs from people on weight watchers as well as people that run. two of my favorites are: msbitchcakes.blogspot.com and pastaqueen.com. they really help remind me that i CAN do this. they dont know me, so they do not realize they are helping me, but they do and at this point in my life- every little bit helps!

happy sunday!

Recommitting

So back at the end of October/ early November I decided to try and do this whole losing weight thing on my own. While it worked (shockingly enough) over the holidays, it was all over after the first of the year.

While everyone else was committing to new years resolutions, i was committing to doing the complete opposite! It was bad.

So last week I realized I HAD to get back up, dust myself off, and work at this again. With the help of Weight Watchers.

Today I rejoined, with my mom joining too in support of me and I of her. I was shocked to realize I had only gained 6 lbs since my last weigh-in in October. Not bad in the big picture I suppose! So here I am. Recommitting to WW and hopefully recommitting (again) to this blog as well.

Stay tuned!

reflection

a year ago this week, i read something on the WW message board about a program called couch-to-5k. i had never run before in my life. as i've said before, we used to walk the mile-run in high school, running was not a part of my vocabulary for 33 years. so, i figured i would give it a try, and try i did.

a set back of an injury later, i completed the program. i could run 3 miles with out stopping. was i fast? no. but i could do it.

here it is a year later, i have run nine 5ks this year, which was my goal. i am still struggling with my weight loss, and my speed, but slowly and steady completes the race, right?

i have learned a lot in this past year. between my success- like in getting my health in order, and my failures, probably the biggest thing i've learned would be that there are only two people in this world who have my back 100%. their names are mom and dad. i have friends that i know love and support me, but nothing tops the unconditional love i am so lucky to have from both of my parents.

another thing i have learned is that although i think i am self confident, i am not. i am very insecure. i need constant reassurance that i am liked, loved, and thought about. as independent as i think i am, i need people around me to survive. im like a dog, i want to run in a pack. im ok with this, because i am who i am, nothing will change that.

probably the most interesting thing i have found this year is if i give a little effort, and i lose weight, what would happen if i actually gave it a lot of thought and effort? am i just too lazy? am i afraid? i guess this would be the "to be continued" part of the program...